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 Some geimu idea.

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Koiro
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PostSubject: Some geimu idea.   Sat Feb 16, 2013 12:15 am

I didn't exactly know where to put this, but I think it's most fitting here. Long story short, had a game/animu idea that I took and turned into a story I had to turn in for English class (I got a 90 on it.). This isn't the entire thing, due to the entire thing not being on the comp I am currently accessing the story from (I had to switch compies mid-story typing.). But, yeah, just gonna post this in spoiler modo. If you wanna read the wall of text, go ahead and tell me what you think of it.
Name of the thingy is Heaven's Lost Memories. If you actually read this wall of text, tell me what you think of it.



Spoiler:
 

But yeah, that was all that was on the comp I accessed this from. If you gais like it, when I get home, I'll get the whole thing from my main comp (Hopefully it's still on there.) And post it here. Enjoy.
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Poppet
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PostSubject: Re: Some geimu idea.   Sat Feb 16, 2013 2:56 am

Sounds interesting conceptually, but needs to be more relevant.


I'd avoid making the spirits, personal heavens, etc. too abstract and keep them more physical so they're actually relevant. I'd also stray away from resurrective immortality or invincibility themes in general. They end up making plot holes and make for a poor plot device.

If anything, I'm thinking a detective style narrative.
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Koiro
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PostSubject: Re: Some geimu idea.   Sat Feb 16, 2013 3:09 am

@Poppet wrote:
Sounds interesting conceptually, but needs to be more relevant.


I'd avoid making the spirits, personal heavens, etc. too abstract and keep them more physical so they're actually relevant. I'd also stray away from resurrective immortality or invincibility themes in general. They end up making plot holes and make for a poor plot device.

If anything, I'm thinking a detective style narrative.
Alright, I see. Thank you for the input. Now I have to figure out how to change it into your suggestion.
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TrieDaEsprit
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PostSubject: Re: Some geimu idea.   Sat Feb 16, 2013 4:25 am

I'll read it after I go home.....

~Star~

GOD, reading that from my cell is hard

EDIT:
Lessee, maybe adding some kind of hunters for those evil beings will set up the story, with the main character trying to be one of the hunters and saved the world, for a twist, you can also make it so that the main character still haven't become an official hunter by the time he defeated the king or queen or lord or leader or whatever you call it, is what nii-chan sent to me, he's probably on an area with no wifi.....
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Koiro
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PostSubject: Re: Some geimu idea.   Sat Feb 16, 2013 3:07 pm

StardustAR wrote:
Lessee, maybe adding some kind of hunters for those evil beings will set up the story, with the main character trying to be one of the hunters and saved the world, for a twist, you can also make it so that the main character still haven't become an official hunter by the time he defeated the king or queen or lord or leader or whatever you call it, is what nii-chan sent to me, he's probably on an area with no wifi.....

Altight, I see. Thank you for the input.
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